you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
