TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
