so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
