I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
