You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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