remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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