are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
