Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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