we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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