Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
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