Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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