I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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