They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
