that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
