Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
