Whoa Z and x make the same sound
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
