god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
