Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
