I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
