ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I pour the whiskey from now on
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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