Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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