dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize