I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
