I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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