She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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