Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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