I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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