dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
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