guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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