Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Less talking, more tequila
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize