the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
