oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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