My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
