all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
