is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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