You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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