Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
