I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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