I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
