Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
