you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
