Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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