do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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