he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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