Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
not ubering you a puppy
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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