3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
