Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
