Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
