i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
