I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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