It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
