we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
