i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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