he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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