i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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