I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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