Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
