Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
