I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
