k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
