I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Found the puke drawer
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
