My first STD was from a foam party
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
