k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
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The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
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So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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