drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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