I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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