if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
