oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
