I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
