No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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