So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
