Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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